Before I begin, Happy 2017! I hope your year started off on a great note.
Uhm… Where to start? I took a few months off from blogging as you all may have noticed and I cut down on my social media interaction. Reason being: I just wasn’t feeling it anymore. I just didn’t want to document so much of my life. I think it all started when I learnt I was leaving my beloved Cape Town to settle in Pretoria (in comparison, Pretoria is a rural area). I think I just needed to experience everything I wanted to and not feel obliged to share it with everyone. Relocating was my choice, however it was a sacrifice I made to please my family.
So here I am, in the middle of rural Pretoria (ok it’s not that bad, I’m exaggerating) trying to build myself and my career AGAIN! This time without the help of my amazing friends. I don’t really know many people in Pretoria / Johannesburg despite having family here. The first two weeks of being here were undoubtedly the worst weeks of my life. I moved from a vibrant city; where I heard cars drive past my apartment, people walking along the streets and the distinct cry of the taxi drivers shouting “Wynburg” every few minutes. Anyone who lives in the Southern Suburbs will know what Im talking about.
Here in Pretoria I hear birds and mosquitoes. Thats all! There is absolutely nothing that is walking distance from my home. Furthermore, my house doesn’t get a lot of natural light which means I need to have the lights on all the time and just my luck, most of the light fixtures weren’t working.That alone is cause for depression. I cried every day for two weeks; hating myself for making the decision to move. I’ve had days where I just wouldn’t leave the house, as much as it depressed me. If that wasn’t enough, I didn’t have wifi and my data kept running out. I felt like I had absolutely nothing to live for. How was I supposed to apply for jobs or keep up with current affairs. God was really tasting my patience.
I was moody and irritable which was upsetting my mother, sister and everyone else around me. Two weeks of dealing with my BS and they snapped, which subsequently led to me getting the lecture of my life. I didn’t know whether to be grateful or to be upset but I spent some time reflecting and decided to change my attitude.
Since then I haven’t cried or upset anyone. I had the lights repaired and wifi installed. I still don’t have a real job but that will come at the right time. There is still a lot to do at home so maybe I’ve been allotted this time to sort out my house. I try to plan something to do for the day so I can wake up with purpose. In addition, dieting and exercising has really lifted my mood. I can’t believe how much weight I’ve gained since moving to Cape Town but il leave that for another post.
Lastly, I don’t love this place but it is slowly becoming home. I miss my friends in Cape Town and Durban so much but I’m excited to meet new, wonderful people here. I realized that nothing will change unless I change my attitude.
Until next time… xoxo